"The Army of the Caesars"

The Army of the Caesars (Michael Grant)

This is a history book detailing the relationship between the army and the Roman state, covering in detail from Augustus up through when the military got the final upper hand after the collapse of the Tetrachy system. It also goes into detail about the armament, pay, and living conditions of the common soldiers to provide some context. I guess that probably sounds pretty tedious, but I found it quite interesting. If you're a Roman history nerd - which I assume would be the only type of person interested in this book - some of this may already be familiar to you (almost certainly the account of Augustus defeating Mark Antony), but Grant ensures that the material is never boring. The book has been out of print since the 70's and I was going to say my only caveat is that it may be tricky tracking down a copy, but there's currently like 97 used copies on Amazon (I recommend Powell's - it's a few bucks extra, but you can't beat their service), so you don't have any excuse.

Grade: A

"Straight Man"

Straight Man (Richard Russo)

I really don't know what to make of this book. I think that it's supposed to be funny, but the jokes were so feeble that I honestly couldn't even tell when the author was trying to make me laugh. Russo's picked out an area that should be full of comedic potential (our protagonist is an aging literary professor struggling with his colleagues), but does nothing with the concept; The author's other characters are paid a compliment if they are described as being barely one-dimensional stereotypes, and we just end up following our hero around on a boring, lifeless, pointless, tedious journey filled with boring, lifeless, pointless flashbacks and asides. At least this book isn't filled with the sad flop sweat of a truly painful unfunny comedy book, so it's boring instead of actively repulsive. Not much of a compliment, I know, but I'm trying to say something nice, and at the end of the day, this isn't repulsive, just a boring and forgettable lump of mediocrity.

Grade: D+

"Betrayer"

Betrayer (Aaron Dembski-Bowden)

It's finally happened: ADB has written a book that isn't an instant masterpiece. In a way, I'm relieved; I was running out of praise to heap on the guy, and it's nice to be able to present a more nuanced review.
None of this should imply that the book is bad - it's just very good instead of great. This novel is a follow up to both Know No Fear and The First Heretic, centered mostly on Angron and the World Eaters. I'm not sure why ADB isn't able to give the World Eaters a rehabilitating coat of nuance as he did with previous legions, but for whatever reason it never quite gels; for all that the World Eaters are painted as tragic figures who willingly subjected themselves to getting brain implants that mimics the one Angron has (which has reduced him to a total wreck), they still come off as rather interchangeable guys who get really angry. Angron himself is more interesting, and him and Lorgar of the Word Bearers have an fascinating, complex relationship which carries the book with an able assist by ADB's usual awesome action scenes. To sum up, this book is easy to recommend, just be aware that you're getting a B+ instead of an A. (Spoiler alert!)

Grade: B+

"Museum of the Weird"

Museum of the Weird (Amelia Gray)

This is a very bizarre short story collection. Gray has a masterful touch when it comes to making the fantastic seem realistic and perfectly normal, which makes for some very interesting (and some quite gross) stories. My three personal favorites are "Dinner" ("When the waiter brought a plate of hair to the table alongside Beth's soup, it was difficult to be polite about it"), a story entitled "A Javelina Story" in which "a clerical error of impressive proportions" results in five wild pigs being dispatched to negotiate with a criminal holding hostages, and "The Suitcase", where a man seals himself in his suitcase and won't come out. This is wonderfully dry, even when his girlfriend is stopped at the airport trying to take him through security and sent to the airport chapel where she starts conversing with the priest ("'The devil out of this luggage,' he said.") A runner up is "Snake Farm", a series of increasingly frantic directions for visiting the SNAKE FARM.
All in all, my only caveat is that some of these stories are really disgusting; just don't read it right before dinner and you're good.

Grade A-

"John Dies at the End"

John Dies at the End (David Wong)

I didn't know what to feel when reading this book, which is not a good sign. Honestly I'm not really sure what the book is going for; am I supposed to feel scared, amused, grossed-out, suspenseful, excited? The only one of those I really felt was grossed-out, which is not a terribly difficult feat. I guess that there's also supposed to be horror and humor in here, but none of this ever really landed. Mostly, I felt confused; why does throwing coffee on a demon made out of meat hurt it? Why does playing music from a boom box hurt it? (There's some guff in here about how a boom box is a modern "David's harp," and I guess I need to go back and brush up on my Bible, because I don't remember David fighting any demons, let alone destroying them with harp music.) The best books can draw a wondrous range of emotions from a reader, but this one just conjured up a slightly confused, annoyed yawn.

Grade: D-

"Know No Fear"

Know No Fear (Dan Abnett)

This is the Horus Heresy novel about the Ultramarines; That's not exactly an enticing summation given how the Ultrasmurfs are portrayed as omnipresent Gary Stus, but luckily the novel is much better than it sounds. The book takes place 43 years after The First Heretic, as the Ultramarines and Word Bearers are assigned to work together, ostensibly to heal the rift created in that book, but in actuality because the Word Bearers are here to launch a surprise attack on the Ultramarines. Abnett employs a very effective device where he has a running countdown leading up to the surprise attack springing, and it really works to build tension, making the inevitable battles and devastation all the more satisfying. I haven't always been the biggest Abnett fan, but at this point in his career, I can't deny that he knows how to write a hell of an action scene, and he does a great job of communicating the sheer scope of the Word Bearers attack as they destroy huge superorbital plates that start raining entire massive starships on the planet below.
My only complaint is that Abnett once again has too many POV characters, and while it's not as bad as in Titanicus, the book's visceral energy starts to dissipate in a second half that goes slightly off the rails. I almost spit my drink when John Grammaticus of Legion and Deliverance Lost shows up, and his plot thread going nowhere was the biggest complaint I have about the book. Still, there's a great 3/4ths of a novel in here, and if you already know enough about W40k to consider buying this book, it's definitely worth the cover price.

Grade: B+

Rent Girl

Rent Girl

If you ever want to see a sex worker or currently see sex workers, you are not going to want to read this book. While the author/main character never feels degraded by her job, she hates both her job and her clients. She is also kind of mean.

At the beginning, I felt a lot of empathy for the MC. She had a traumatic event, was a young lesbian in a relationship with a domineering woman who seemed to care little about her while still craving the MC's affection. But then she got mean. She calls up a former client to make fun of his self-written songs among other things. I don't recall a nice thing she does for anyone as the story goes on (even the MC admits that whoring has made her mean and greedy). 

So, as I said in the beginning...don't read this book if you're considering seeing a sex worker in Vegas on your next vacation because this book will disabuse you of the notion that any sex worker might actually enjoy what they're doing. 

I did like it though. So...there's that.